Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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