Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize