Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize