we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
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