Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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