She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Congratulations! We have a period
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
