hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
