so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
