Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he thought i was a dude.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
