He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Randomize
