at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just forgot I was standing up.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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