ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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