evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
50% drunk capacity currently
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
So. Much. Porn.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize