WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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