Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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