Apparently you make a good broom.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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