I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
