Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
