Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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