I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
