anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
