So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
