This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
