I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
