Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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