belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
