It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
