I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
