Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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