I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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