Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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