All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
