How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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