Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
