he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
