the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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