she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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