PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
