evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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