You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
