i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
