Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
