told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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