I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
