I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
As shirtless as possible
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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