Can Purell be used as lube?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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