i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize