Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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