Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
