She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
