Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
