yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
