mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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