Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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