That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
