when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Bring me that man meat
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
