bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
