when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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