when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
