I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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