So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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