That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
