omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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