I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
