i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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